by patbarone
In an effort to clear my office of clutter, I recently began a scrounge-and-purge operation. I don’t consider myself a hoarder in any way. I’ve learned to let go of old stuff, old fat, and, most importantly, old beliefs. You might say I love releasing things that don’t serve me.
But, it’s amazing what can hide in bookshelves, beneath a stack of reading material, or in office cubbies.
Recently, as I was knee-deep in the recycle bin, I came across a series of old notebooks. I always keep a notebook with me. It might serve as a place to journal, make a to-do list, or plan the year 2035. I long-ago realized I can’t keep all the parts of my life separate, so everything goes in the one notebook I have nearby.
The day before Thanksgiving, I found myself going through a notebook from early in my final weight loss journey. I have no idea what cued the list I found… but I was actively losing weight and must have realized, or read somewhere, that I should hook into the rewards of the task I was planning.
So, here’s my list – the reasons why I wanted to lose weight permanently:
1. I’ll feel connected to my body, no static in between it and me.
2. I’ll be the essence of me, no excess anywhere.
3. I’ll look better in clothes and find it easy to shop.
4. It will show I walk my talk. I say I want to be a healthy weight and embody health, and that will be apparent.
5. Food will cease to be a focal point in my life.
6. I’ll show love without food.
7. I’ll love myself and others more deeply and purely. My expression of this love will be clean and simple and authentic.
8. I’ll honor my body.
9. I’ll be as I was meant to be. I won’t carry my inadequacies and disappointments on my hips.
And here’s what’s important about this ten-year-old list:
Today, it’s all true. Every word of it.
It’s the season of thanksgiving, and I’m very grateful for all the wonder in my life. I’m even more inspired to look back and see what I have created. I always had doubt, but my intention from those words somehow carried me through the doubt, the hard times, the heartbreak and meandering roads that make up life.
What do you want to create? In ten years, what will be on the list you find? The list you write today?
by patbarone
One of the most painful aspects of weight loss is weight regain. Has this scenario happened to you? You’ve struggled and deprived yourself for months, losing weight. And, then, one day you “wake up fat” again.
Watch this video where actor Kevin James explains it perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnC9BzXso90
What were his key words?
“I’m going to give myself a little time to have fun….”
Yep, that’s what started it all!
Another key thing he said? “I’m going to make a turnaround.”
Have you heard yourself saying either of these things?
They are called denial.
Now, my point is not to ridicule Kevin James. In fact, since I have coached clients in the film business and worked in it too, I can tell you the methods used to get in shape for a film are often gruesome, even more restrictive and debilitating than most of us mortals, who aren’t being paid hundreds of thousands (or millions!) of dollars, could endure.
And, if our mortal efforts results in regain 99% of the time, Hollywood weight loss is almost guaranteed to return. You see this over and over, as actors regularly bulk up, then lose weight, invariably winding up in midlife as overweight, metabolisms shot, bodies energetically depleted. It happened to Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor in the old days. It happened to Russell Crowe and Christina Aguilera more recently.
And even though it’s a legitimate point how differently media treat male and female regainers (media and tabloids follow female regainers around ruthlessly – see this recent article where Christina Aguilera talks about how she was “forced” to be toothpick thin early in her career, with producers telling her an entire tour would fail if she was anything but tiny), they didn’t seem to talk too much about Kevin James’ regain.
He wasn’t ridiculed or plastered on the cover of People magazine.
He didn’t find a “plus sized” label in front of his name, like comedienne Aidy Bryant, a new regular cast member of Saturday Night Live, discovered in front of her name in the articles about her new job. (See this article calling her “morbidly obese” and suggesting thin women run for the ho-hos.)
No, the point is Kevin’s regain. Despite his sense of humor (haven’t we all developed good senses of humor about our weight?), you can see behind his apology.
As I recently told a client who got to goal weight and began to slip: there is only one way to eat.
Period.
No “I’ll just give myself a break…”
No “I’ll get back on the wagon….” Remember Oprah’s wagon? There is no wagon.
There is only now. And how we feed and treat ourselves right now will show up tomorrow. There is only one way to eat. And that is in the healthiest way possible, especially given the crap that’s hawked in our faces every day, screaming from every billboard, sign and screen.
Let’s eat in a way that makes us proud of ourselves today, and makes tomorrow great.
We all know how to do this, if we stop and pay attention. We know how to treat ourselves with dignity.
by patbarone
It’s been a couple weeks since I posted a blog! This is always a busy time of year as my son starts school, and I usually begin another enLIGHTen Your Life! mastermind course.
This year, I have two classes beginning at once! Double fun!
It’s also an interesting time because my birthday falls in September too. That, combined with telling my weight loss story to my new classes, has directed me to a more introspective perspective on my journey than usual.
Losing weight permanently opened up my whole world on so many levels. I gained confidence. I took risks I’d never taken before. I began to chart my own destiny in terms of work, relationships, parenting, creativity.
I literally found myself under the layer of insulation I carried for over 20 years.
Perhaps it was my birthday, but I recently thought about what I found when I lost weight from the inside out. What was hiding underneath all that fat?
This is what I found:
I believe this photo was taken on my first birthday because you’ll notice I’m standing by the ice cream churn! My mother used to make homemade ice cream on our birthdays.
No doubt I am waiting for ice cream! Maybe I’ve been churning and I’m taking a break. But this is what I see: (more…)
by patbarone
One of the primary reasons the American woman’s body image is distorted is the virtual lack of REAL role models in our society.
Most of our role models come from the fashion industry and Hollywood films. If we only viewed French or Italian films, we’d see a wide range of sizes, shapes and ages among the actresses looming on the big screen. (We’d also see less cookie cutter beauty and much more interesting types of beauty.)
But, time after time, I find myself watching an American movie and wondering “Why does she have to be so thin?”
She looked like this, primarily due to bulimia.
What We’re Comparing Against Example 1: Boomer women are reeling over Jane Fonda’s admission that she was bulimic when she starred in Hollywood films and exercise videos of the 70s. Nice of her to admit it now, I guess, but millions of women did those stupid videos until they were blue in the face and then beat themselves all the way to the bakery because they didn’t wind up looking like her.
What We’re Comparing Against Example 2: Actresses in two current hit films have admitted using body doubles in their nude scenes.
(more…)
by patbarone
Ever have one of those weeks when the timing is just OFF?
Missed connections. Rescheduled appointments. Frustration.
Then, my son had a car accident. No injuries – WHEW! Lots of details take my attention. I make space for it.
Then, the internet goes down!
And doesn’t come back with simple fixes. Hours on phone with Earthlink.
Internet still down. More hours on the phone with Earthlink.
Extreme frustration!
I plan an escape. Off to the pool to work on editing audio recordings for my next educational product.
As kids we had the energy to play all day.
(more…)
