For anyone living under a rock, Geneen Roth’s new book “Women Food and God” is a New York Times bestseller recently featured on Oprah. I first studied Geneen’s ideas on intuitive eating and breaking out of diet hell many years ago.
Here’s an idea from the new book that had great impact on me:
love life without the story,
you without your past
Wow – all that past … just gone.
All those stories … obliterated.
All that baggage … dropped at the airport and left on the conveyor belt of life.
As you’ve often heard me say, the mind is a terrible thing to the waist. Our minds make up stories and dilemmas, assign meaning where there is none, and assume the worst (especially about ourselves). We give our love to everyone around us, but scrimp and save when it comes to loving ourselves.
Here are some of my stories, every one of them made up:
1. I have to work harder than everyone else, preferably 192 hours a day.
2. I never do enough for my family.
3. Relaxation is for sissies.
4. I’m a cowgirl, not a sissy.
5. If I get better and better at what I do, one day I’ll be satisfied.
What are your stories?
Once they’re clear in your mind, imagine letting them go.
See YOU without your past.
For just a moment, let the stories go. Forget what your mother said when you were nine. Lose the perpetual victim thoughts engrained in your psyche. Stop pretending you want to lose weight when what you really want is to be happy. (It’s only advertising and commercials where thin = happy anyway.)
Don’t you feel lighter in a millisecond?
Isn’t it all simpler?
And isn’t it EASY to love (yourself and others) when you have “no past”? That’s because loving is our true nature. And when we dump the baggage, we become our true selves.
So powerful Pat!! And so true! I once heard of a type of therapy in which the person getting the therapy is asked to tell his/her story over and over again, repeatedly until they get sick of it. And it works 🙂
This also reminds me of a greeting card I saw years ago. In the front was a drawing of a sad looking guy sliding down the luggage chute at the airport. On the inside of the card it said “emotional baggage claim” 😉
Yes! Living in story is a big theme in therapy. I can see that, eventually, if we listen to ourselves, we will get sick of our themes. But I love the idea that we can be free at any moment we decide to halt the tape player and let go! Thanks for commenting!
Great post! I wrote a similar post a few days ago about the tapes we play in our heads. It is so fascinating the things we have convinced ourselves are real when really, it is just some little thought that our brains have picked up and carried away.
Another good one Pat! Yes, I often have to look for the power off button on my tapes. It works best when I can view it all with humor and share it to keep me feeling connected to people who run their tapes too. We’re all in it together.
Hi Pat,
This is so true. I think that we mostly create our stories and they are just our perspective on how we remember things or make things up. I remember telling my parents one of my stories from childhood and they both sat their with their mouths gaping and told me that that is not what happened. Their story of the event was completely different!
I think part of letting go of our old stories is to bring them to light and realize that it is our story but that now we want to let it go. We usually can’t let go of the story until we bring it to light and own that it is a story and we can change the story if we want.
Thanks,
Michelle
Yes, Michelle – that is so true! I remember reading a remarkable story about Christmas where the author, an adopted child, remembered getting very different gifts than his brothers and sisters, who were biological children. When he finally brought it up to his adoptive mom later in life, she reminded him “I never knew if you’d come home for Christmas. You would never tell me or commit to coming! When you showed up, which was rare, I’d have to run out and get something at the last minute when nothing but Walgreens was open!” He had made up a story that he was different and treated differently than the other kids his entire life. It was his story, not hers, or how she viewed him. He was 50 when he finally told her this and her response changed his entire relationship with her as well as with his brothers and sisters.
Perhaps an annual review of stories (or, dare I say, continual?) would be beneficial!
What are the stories that have the most impact on us? Limit us the most? Those are good ones to start with!
Thanks Michelle for commenting!
Love, Pat
How many of us don’t even know what our stories are yet because we eat them? Like Oprah was saying today, people would tell her how strong she was to hold up under so much stress and she would think “what stress?”!! She admitted she would just eat it.
So, why don’t we stop long enough to know our own stories? This whole idea of slowing down, simplifying, taking time to listen to my life….its been a recurring theme over the last many months, and I think it just might be time too start listening.l
Good point Cheryl! What are our stories? Which ones are still hidden? And how many limiting beliefs show up in our stories? (“I can’t…” “I never…” “It’s hard…”)
Great post, Pat! I’m going to start this book right away… Deep down I know it’s all about letting go.