During an interview this week, I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks.
“What derails you?”
It took me a couple minutes of thought before I could even get my head around this. It felt a little familiar – like maybe I once knew what it was like, but it was a dim memory.
I’ve been losing weight a long time. Like, if there’s an award for long-term change, I’m in line for it. But what happens when you keep going is that some things that seemed like BIG CONCEPTS and HUGE AH-HAs become…
The phrase “having it all” has been cropping up lately. You know what that means. Time to pay attention!
“Having it all” drives so much activity and behavior! We seem to have hugely idealistic pictures of our “perfect” lives: thin bodies, thriving relationships, successful careers, high achiever children, beautifully appointed homes, oodles of money, respect, admiration…. the list can obviously go on and on.
We’re even willing to minimize huge aspects of our lives that are fantastic when just one part of what we define as “all” is missing (or doesn’t show up exactly when we want it!).
Having it All - Version 1
Here’s an example: A client* comes to me with a fantastic life (more…)
One of the very few advantages of having my long history with the diet world is that I can see the patterns perpetuated by the diet industry.
For instance, my first diet was Atkins but not the recent round of that high protein diet. I was on the original diet when I was 10 years old! (Looking back, I was not overweight but my mother was, and she put all of us on a diet to keep her company.)
I’ve lived through various rounds of low fat, high fiber, low calorie, high protein and high carb diets. Tried them all, and felt the impact as they all failed, time after time.
The weight loss industry loves to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Born with a wide-hipped bone structure? Bad girl!
Did you diet so much in your teens that, even though you feel healthy and can maintain your weight easily, you still weigh 30 lbs more than those “magic” weight charts in the doctor’s office? Terrible you!
Despite constant dieting, is your waist roughly the same size as your hips so the latest fashion hip-rider jeans just don’t work for you? Shame on you!
I know I never would have lost over 70 lbs., or maintained that weight loss for over 10 years, if I stayed hooked into the diet biz OR bad feelings about myself. It took me a long time to disengage from commercials and advertising that shows EVERYONE with long legs, taut arms, tiny waist, and big boobs. In real life, every body is unique and very few meet the advertising world’s criteria for beauty.
Instead of feeling bad about ourselves, we should feel bad for them. What a boring, pathetic, lying world they depict!
Take note of this new commercial for Jenny Craig where the absolutely beautiful actress Sara Rue talks about not being able to leave the house (oh, the shame!!) when overweight:
The reason this lovely woman is in for a rude awakening (and I hate to see that) is the route she’s taken in order to lose that weight and fit into those “skinny” jeans. My research taught me that dieting is the key to regain. The body is programmed to regain after sudden loss. (If you don’t understand this, see this audio class.)
The very first Principal in the Catalyst Weight Loss System is “Don’t do anything to lose weight that you can’t do forever” because otherwise you are just setting yourself up for regain.
Do you want it now or do you want it forever?
The approach is different.
Here’s what I also learned losing all that weight. Women (some men, but especially women) buy the skinny=happy equation and waste precious TIME, ENERGY and PASSION worrying about it, pursuing it, failing at it, running their lives by it (staying home!) and making u-turns in life.
WE ARE GIVING AWAY OUR POWER BY BUYING INTO THIS MYTH!
Just think what we could do collectively if we harnessed all that energy and passion and used it to care (really care) for ourselves!
As I travel, spreading the word about permanent weight loss, I often speak to middle and high school girls about health, body image, and the negative impact of dieting on weight. It’s always very touching for me to look out over the classroom and see the young women as I speak. Many of them (according to some statistics, about 50%) are already dieting and associating being thin with deprivation.
Thin = Deprivation
Wrong!
Most of them can’t look ahead to see how their current behavior and stringent dieting will lead to frustration, anger and excess weight in their twenties and thirties. It takes many years to see the real equation:
Dieting and Food Avoidance = More Fat
If I could do one thing for these girls, who deserve a healthy future free from disordered eating, it would be to freeze them right where they are.
